Friday

Getting off tomorrow at noon was a nice thought but doesn't look like it will happen unless I get into the office by 6AM. 

This is supposed to be my 2 weeks off but Safeway was a presentation of our new Athens desserts and appetizers so guess who has to do some work on my 2 weeks off?? 

Not only that, but Walmart has decided to put our new Spinach & Feta pierogies in the new mod set so I have new item forms etc to get done.

Like I said, nice thought!

Books

Now that the quilts are finished (pics in previous blog), I decided to de-clutter some more of my house.   About the only place left was my room and alllllllllllllllllllllllllll  my many books.  Tonight I removed about 400 books from the shelves, bagged them and tomorrow, some lucky thrift store will be the recipient.  Don't worry.  I still have plenty to read. 

I feeeeel good!!!!!!!!

Quilt pictures

                                          Waylon's quilt

                                         Kristina's quilt

Thank you Don and Julie for letting me use your arms to hold up the quilts.

Skinnying down!

No this is not about weight loss but about work loss.  I have lessened my housesitting loads and starting next year, it will be my last to do Davey's books.  I need the income, can't make my monthly bills without it, HOWEVER, I have spent the last 30 years working at least 2 jobs plus picking up housesitting, office cleaning,etc.  I am tired and worn out.

My income is decreasing but my bills are increasing so I know it makes no sense to quit doing his books especially since it only takes about 10-12 hours/month and he pays me a really good hourly rate but, as the saying goes, "When the aggravation outweighs the income, it is time to quit".    I do not enjoy the 2 hour drive to his house on Friday night, staying up late looking for lost invoices and then rushing back on Saturday to work some more.

All this change came about this weekend.  Davey's brother Danny surprised the doctors by living past the weekend.  While Davey was at the hospital, the opportunity came for Chris, Davey's son, to learn more about what I spend my time doing at Davey's, which is hunting for lost invoices.  Chris has wanted to me more involved with the business as in a couple of years, he will be taking it over.  So, now is a good time.  Starting in February, I will start training Chris to do the books so by the end of January 2012, I will no longer be needed. 

A sigh of relief, yes but a prayer for additional income to meet my financial needs without wearing myself out.

Singing, singing,

The fat lady is singing.  My back is killing me, my neck and shoulders are screaming in pain but both quilts are done, all except for the ragging of Kristina's, which I will complete tomorrow.  My sewing machine has gone on strike along with my body.

Thank you Jesus! 

Pictures will be coming once I get someone to hold them up so I can snap the picture.

Do you hear the fat lady singing???

Probably not because this fat lady will not be singing til the last quilt is done, HOWEVER, Mom has been diligently working this morning. The quilt is ready to wash and dry to curl the rag strips.  YEAH!!!  

One quilt down, one to go.

One side ragged

It is amazing how much you can get done before work when you wake up at 4AM (not intentionally).  Got one side of the quilt ragged.  Mom will work on it while I am gone.  I can see light at the end of the Waylon tunnel.  Soon, onto Kristina's quilt. 

Downhill side

Just down to the raggin on Waylon's quilt.  Got 2 rows done on one side but had to stop to pack.  Mom said she would work on it while I am gone but I did 22 squares to her 2, so do not anticipate the quilt being ready to wash and dry before I get back on Sunday.  I am just thankful for her help.

Thank you Jesus.  I could not have gotten this far without you.  Now, could you infuse this body with some muchly needed sleep.  The bags under my eyes are now large suitcases.

I am baffled!!!

I know I live in a state of chronic confusion but this is getting ridiculous.  Gene has a major meeting next week.  The reports I need in order to prepare him for the meeting are available today HOWEVER, our clients system is down.  Something happened to Verizon's system, which affected theirs.  All of this means I will be working LATE tonight so may not be able to finish the last 3 rows. 

Can't imagine why all the stumbling blocks with this quilt???

Almost there!

Boy, did Karen do an excellent job on fixin my sewing machine.  My baby just purrs.  I have 3 more rows to attach on Waylon's quilt, which will take about 1 - 1.5 hours.  Once that is done, then comes the hardest part, ragging the squares. There are 121 squares to rag on each side which means 242 squares on all 4 sides.  My fingers always get so sore cutting the seams into small strips.  This should take 3-4 hours.  The next step, washing and drying the quilt about 5 times to rag the seams.  Due to working at Davey's this weekend and housesitting, I should have the quilt finished sometime Monday night.

Tuesday I will start Kristina's quilt.  Thank you Jesus.  I should be through, dead tired but done, by Christmas.

This year, I get Christmas by myself, no mom, as she leaves the 13th and will return on the 30th.  I have some dear friends I hope will be able to come spend Christmas Day with me but not sure due to her health.

Work is calling my name so best get to it!

Back in business

Praise God!  Took my sewing machine in and she fixed it right away.  Sew, sew, sew!!!!  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can get this quilt done!

What is going on??????

It seems as if these quilts are just not supposed to get made.  I was going to use mom's old treadle machine but it has no reverse on it and the quilt is too big to try to turn it around when I need to back track over the seam allowances.

I set up my grandmother's Futura sewing machine. HATE IT!!!  It is the most complicated sewing machine I have ever used.  If you don't get the thread through the discs "just right", then you can't sew.  It took me 30 minutes last night to get the machine threaded and working.  This morning, I was going to get at least one row of the individual squares sewn.  I was 2 squares away from completing row 10 when the bobbin ran out of thread.  I replaced the bobbin and now, after wasting another 15 minutes, it still will not sew right.  The thread is not feeding.  What idiot made this machine and why would they make it so complicated?!*%$#>#*&^. 

Tonight, I will patiently try to get the "dirty word, dirty word, dirty word"  machine threaded where it will work correctly.

I did find a place in town that repairs machine.  I pray he does good work for a good price and does it quick.  Taking it to Austin would be mean 1-2 weeks before I could get it back.

Lord, HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!

A kink in my plans

I wanted to finish Waylon's quilt over Thanksgiving but between allergies and my sewing machine going on strike, it didn't happen.  I need about 5 hours to finish his quilt.  The hardest part of the whole thing is laying it out for the color design.

I came up with the idea to do a quilt for Kristina.  Crazy I know but once I get another sewing machine setup (my mom's old transformed treadle), I will be on my way.  I am using old flannel sheets with a wintery design.  One set of sheets had a snowman pillowcase so I am using it as the focal point of the quilt.  Sheets sure beat cutting up a lot of old flannel shirts.

I work this weekend plus housesit when I get back so this weekend is shot for working on it but after that, I will be one sewing "machine" (pun intended)!

Whew!! Back to my paying job.

Thanksgiving

No way this is going to be a traditional Thanksgiving.  Mom and I both have pets and houses we are watching over.  Waylon & Kristina are doing their own thing.  Davey will be at the hospital with his brother.  Thanksgiving without Davey is like pumpkin pie without real whipped cream.  Just ain't the same.  The friends we invited actually ended up being able to spend time with their families so mom and I decided that the pork loin with cranberry/apricot dressing can wait. 

What are we going to do???  We are loading up the picnic basket and going fishing until the cold front hits. Upon return, we are bombing out on movies.  Of course, I will be sewing while watching movies but it will still be relaxing.

Love this new carefree, no hassle Thanksgiving plan.  It's never too late to start a new Thanksgiving tradition!

I pray each of you enjoy time spent with family.

Rag quilt

Waylon would like another rag quilt for Christmas.  Seems not only Kristina has taken his but their company loves that quilt. 

I started laying out the squares last night. Yes, I know I will be burning the midnight oil to get this done but my heart has just not been ready to make it.  As I said, I laid out the squares and nothing seemed to work.  This morning, it hit me what it was that didn't mesh.  The colors.  Waylon loves browns and greens and most of the shirts I already had cut up were blues and reds, so on to add to my already short time, I am having to cut more squares. Praisin Jesus I had some old brown and green flannel shirts that I had collected.  As with the last quilt, I am putting a scripture a address on each square of batting between the flannel layers.

Why oh why did I procrastinate?!/*?!

PS.  Send oil, someone to rub my shoulders and lots of caffeine please.  Oh, and a few quilting angels would be muchly appreciated.

The Roll continues...

I still have some uncluttering to do at my house, but books take longer for me to go through and until I finish some of my rag quilts, the laundry room will just have to stay a disaster.

The office is less cluttered.  Jake, who rents a room from us, needed space for a big printer (prints lifesize photos).  So, I took it to task yesterday, going through drawers and shelves, rearranging and getting rid of stuff that we never use and/or is in bad repair.  The backseat of my Toyota was filled as I headed to the dumpster.  Wanted to get rid of more but Gene is deadset on keeping every briefcase and daytimer he ever used (40 years worth). 

By eliminating so many things I had subscribe to, I was able to spend less than 5 minutes on my emails this morning.  Loving it!!!

I do believe my life is headed in the right direction.  PRAISIN JESUS!

On a roll...

WOW!  I am feeling so good.  The UNCLUTTERING has spread.  I am feeling lighter and lighter.  What brought things to a head?  A neighbor lost her special companion 3 weeks ago and I am just now finding out.  My friend of almost 50 years was close to death and I did not know it.  GOD SMACKED ME UPSIDE THE HEAD!

My life has become so cluttered with "stuff" that I forgot what was important, people!  So I made a decision.  I have let go of housesitting other than short term (3 days) and nothing during December and January. I unsubscribed to about 25 different daily or weekly devotional emails, Daily guideposts, Country Living, Hillbilly housewife, HGTV etc.  You get the picture.  As much as I enjoy reading and being encouraged by Girlfriends and God, Family Life today, etc, I found all those things shortened my time with God and people.

I confess, once I read something interesting, it tends to lead me to research more.  Reading and researching are my addictions, along with Dr. Pepper.  I tried quitting Dr. Pepper but... 

I have taken a leave of absence from Facebook while I get my priorities in order.  I will check it once a week to touch base with some of my friends.

I need more Roo time.  There is no getting anything accomplished while he is here and so all those emails etc get back logged. 

I am also going to work on my me-do list and see what I can eliminate and minimize.

Except that the scales say differently, I feel so much lighter.

Uncluttering

After Dottie changed the color of my carpet, I made arrangements for Brian to come clean it.  I had everything moved to make it easier.  Brian had to change the appointment, which actually worked out for the best. 

I think I am becoming minimalist.  I love less things in the rooms of my house.  Won't get rid of any of the furniture, end table and night stands just yet but I must say, I like the change I see and am giving lots of thought to keeping it with less stuff.  More stuff, more places to stack things.  Mmmmmm! 

Oh well!  Will wait and see!

Dottie Update

The surgery went well.  Dottie is now home.  I had been misled on her situation.  They had to remove part of her intestines but not nearly as much as I had been told.  The cause of the blockage??  Part of her baby.  Carol buys her these fuzzy stuffed babies that are the shape of gingerbread men.  She loves them.  She had chomped off part of a leg and swallowed it.  Bad news, when it got to a certain part of the intestines, it swelled and filled the area instead of going on through.

Praisin Jesus she is on the mend.  I think the "babies" will now be off limits.

Praise

Julie's son Brian is scheduled to come clean my carpets.  After Dottie threw up all over my carpets and rugs, there is no option but to have them cleaned.  I wanted to get my carpets cleaned later this year, with perhaps a Christmas bonus I might get.  Anyway, Dottie changed all that.

It is really not in my budget but guess what, I got a call for 3 days of house/dog sitting this month and then 2 days in December.  It will be enough to pay for the carpet cleaning.

Praisin Jesus!!

The Great Church Hunt

I am still on the "Great Church Hunt".  This is the 3rd week I did not attend church.  I was back in Austin.  Anyway, I have decided to focus on non-denominational churches first and if God hasn't shown me the church He wants me to attend, then I will branch out.

While I am on this journey, I believe that God wants me to be sure I stay in touch, thus my TREASURE at the garage sale this weekend.

Garage sale TREASURE - Bible tapes

Coming back from Davey's this weekend, I stopped at a garage sale that surprisingly, was still going.  I tend to look for teaching tapes on cassette because that is what I have in my car.  The lady having the sale just gave me the following teaching tapes, some on cd's and some on cassettes.  Talk about a TREASURE!  Most of the teachings are by Ron Hindt, pastor of Calvary Chapel in Houston.  Some of these teachings are from his Master's Call ministry and others are his Larger than Life ministry tapes.

Cassettes

Through the Bible verse by verse - Genesis - Numbers 32
Who's tricking who? - The truth about halloween
The Way of the Cross - Exposition of Matthew 26 & 27
The Training of the Twelve - a look a the Twelve Disciples
Running with the Faithful - Exposition stufy of Hebrews 11
Apologetics 101 by Bunjee Garrett
Walking in the Spirit - Exposition of Galatians 5:16-6:18
Christ the Living Word 1:1-18
The Romance of Redemption - the book of Ruth
Running the Race - exposition of Hebrews 12
Christ the Good Shepherd - exposition of John Chapter 10
Colossians - Becoming a confident christian -by pastor Allan Rigg - missing 3 cassettes

CD
The Uncompromising Life - Daniel 1:1-21 and 3:1-30 - cd
Lessons for Living Faith - Matthew 14:14-15:39
Nehemiah 1:1-11 - 13
The Beatitudes - Missing one cd
2006 Calvary Chapel Texas/Oklahoma Pastor's wives Fellowship - It holds 3 cds but there are only 2. Not sure if there was ever 3.


About 2 months ago, I got "The Bible Experience", the New Testatment.  It is on cd.  I forgot about it but found it in my stash of books when cleaning house, so that is what I am listening to this morning while working, at least until Gene gets here. 
 
My favorites, of course, are the Joyce Meyer tapes.  I listen to them over and over and over again.  I usually listen to each tape 3 times as I only drive 6 miles to work so my listening is very disconnected.  I am just finishing up "Has anyone seen my mind.".  Really good teaching.  I've have a few of her teaching tapes series.  Great way to start my day.  Of course, since 105.9 came about, I sometimes want to listen to it.  Love worship music and before work just makes my day better.
 
If y'all are at garage sales and find Joyce Meyer teaching tapes on cassettes, please get them for me and I will pay you back.
 
I need to be in the Word more but if I can't read it, at least I can hear it.
 
Love my garage sale treasures.

Time away

I took a few days off from work.  Due to Davey's brother having surgery, our fishing trip was cancelled.  I called Julie and asked about some girl time at the ranch.  LOVED IT!!!!  Muchly needed mental vacation.

We got to the ranch on Thursday.   We spent some time feeding the goats and sheep and then tried to count them.  So much fun to watch the sheep just up and jump even though there is nothing for them to jump over.  Goats, they are so comical.  One goat looked ready to drop her babies any time.  Too bad it was not while we were there.

I had been having difficulties with my allergies.  So much congestion, loss of voice, etc.  I was tired.  In fact, I was so tired I think I went to bed around 8 or 8:30pm.  Julie was close behind.  Good thing Julie can sleep through my snoring.  Julie had brought Dickens for mousing purposes so I had a bedmate.  Not sure she truly like being pushed around during the night.  I sleep alone so it was easy for me to forget she was there.

We found a mouse nest but no mice (YEAH).  There was no mice rolling pecans across the floor, no dead mice floating in the toilet, no dead mice for Julie to step on, no DEAD MICE. 

Friday, we awoke to cold temps.  We got dressed and then decided we needed to add another layer.  We hit the back roads.  I love back roading except that it was too dark to take pics.  We saw a javalina, a very nice axis buck, fields of sunflowers and beauty everywhere.  There were some sheep munching grass along the fence line.  They all had their butts turned toward us.  So cute!

Got to Harper and the garage sale was not really good but loved getting a pic of the old diner. We found out the Catholic church was having their annual garage sale on Saturday so we would be coming back the next day. Heading back into Fredericksburg we saw a beautiful fallow buck.

Garage sales were OK.  One lady had a great sale.  I got 2 pairs of almost new shoes.  My size is hard to find in the store and so these were a treasure.  She also gave me 2 electric blankets that did not work but hey, the blanket part does.  I am donating those to a family in need.  I also got 2 small brown braided rugs. I have gotten several good deals in Fredericksburg on braided rugs over the years.  I was with Tammie when I got a 4' x 7' rug for $2.  It was rolled up, laying in a backyard and dirty.  It was so dirty, my boss hauled it in the back of his truck to the cleaners. The next day, he showed me that rug in a magazine for $129.  So far a cost of $17 (cleaning was $15), I have a beautiful rug.   One time I got a large braided brown rug for $5 and it was perfect for the Barlow bunkhouse (upper cabin at ranch). There were 2 garage sales that started in the afternoon so we ate a late lunch at the park.  Gorgeous day.  By now, we had stripped off a layer and were enjoying the warmth of the afternoon.  Oh, what a relaxing time.

Saturday morning, we hit the road early.  We saw some deer, turkeys and an absolutely breathtaking sunrise.  At times, it looked liked hot lava streaming down the sky. 

The first garage sale was a bonanza.  I got JC Penney tab curtains for my bedroom and a set of queen size sheets.  Both go with the quilt I had gotten in Marble Falls at the thrift store. I also got 2 large bath towels that match my mauve bathroom, lots of Land's End tank tops, a plant stand and a few other things, all for under $20.  IF we had had any way to haul it, I would have gotten the wooden glider that was $5.  It just needed a little TLC.  I tell you, we need to get Old Blue healthy again.

We hit 10 garage sales on Friday and close to 30 on Saturday.  I had bought a case of filters for my a/c that I cannot get here in Marble Falls.  I also bought a case of the smaller filters I use.  The filters, along with the free blankets are at Julie's.  Too much stuff to haul in her SUV.

God, thank you for the time away.  No phones, no computers, no work.  Just me, God and a precious sister. 

I think I will see if Julie and I can do that again next October.   Oh and Tammie, since you are no longer a Texas State Fair virgin, you will have to plan on coming, too.  It has been too long since we three were at Julie's ranch together.

Dottie, Roo and God!

I spend so much time on computers at work that when I get home, I reeeaaaaalllly don't want to be on them at all.  During the day, if possible, I pop on & off Facebook and my email.  I try to read a blog when I can but now that it is the busy season at the office, some things will have to go by the wayside.

Kristina is still up to her old tricks.  She called and asked me to watch Roo, which I did for a few hours on the 13th.  She told me I could have him any weekend.  So last weekend, I arranged to meet them at Walmart to get Roo.  She got mad because Waylon forgot to pack Roo's monkey and blanket and then, Waylon misunderstood where I parked so I was not allowed to take Roo for the weekend.  Now, if I want to have him, I can only talk to her and make arrangements.  YEAH, like that is going to happen.

Julie and I had been talking during our time at the ranch about God. I love our conversations and have truly missed them.  I had been listening to Joyce Meyer tapes and one of her comments really spoke to me.  If we truly believe that all things that happen to us are allowed by God, then why do we get upset if we are stuck in a traffic jam?  Food for thought!!!

Now apply that to the Kristina situation.  I was upset that Kristina was being a ?????, however, I had to realize that God allowed it to happen.  Turns out, it was for the best.  I had Dottie for the weekend.  When I picked up Dottie, Carol sent old towels with me as Dottie had been having a little bit of vomiting,  Friday night Dottie was fine.  Saturday, WHOA!!   That girl can spew buckets but did the green goo have to be in everyone room (I have a light colored carpet that came with the house) and on every braided rug.

Anyway, Dottie was violently ill all weekend.  I thought she might have a bug.  Monday, the vet had to give her an IV and ended up doing surgery that night.  Apparently, some time back, Dottie swallowed something like a small toy.  Anyway, it had moved about in her intestines and finally got stuck.  The vet had to remove most of her intestines.  Her survival rate is 20%.

I am grateful I did not have Roo.  While I was upset that Kristina did her thing, at least I did not have to concern myself with a 15 month old while mopping up green goo time and time again.

I need to remember not to get so upset, look to God and remember He allowed it to happen.

Tpot

My mom got this at a garage sales for my sister who collects tpots.  Personally, I think this is "me"!

God is moving in the Hill Country

For the past 2 weeks, I have been attending a new church in Marble Falls.  I come away so refreshed, wanting for the service not to end, for the teachings to keep coming.  Sunday, some of us got together after church to discuss what we learned.  AHHHHHHSOME!

The pastor announced that this church was not started to take people away from other churches but to give the non-church going people another option.  When a friend of mine who came shared with the pastor that she and her husband were involved in a startup church in Granite Shoals, he asked how River of Life Ministries could help.  Our pastor believes churches should fellowship together.  Love it!

I am grateful for Rhonda inviting me to attend her church.  It was her enthusiasm for this church that got me to go.  Now I can see why she is so excited.  ROLM is a spirit filled, Jesus celebrating church.

I am not sure if this is where God wants to plant me but am grateful I know I am welcome anytime.  I also want to try the Smokin for Jesus church.  Eagerly looking forward to finding where God wants me.

God is moving in the Hill Country.  Concrete walls are coming down as churches are sharing their passion by fellowshipping together, encouraging each other, helping each other.   Keep on movin GOD, I am right there with you.

I want to be at home

Something happened Sunday. Just sitting in a peaceful church, worshipping Jesus has nourished me more than I imagined. For the first time in a very long time, I can't get enough of Jesus!!! I think my dry bones may be coming back to life!!!!  I want to be at home, I want to be sitting at Jesus' feet!

This song express my heart.
The more I seek you (Kari Jobe)

The more I seek you,
The more I find you
The more I find you, the more I love you

I wanna sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breath, feel your heart beat
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming

Back in the saddle

Got real sick last week. Not sure what it was but the loss of 6 lbs in one day was OK. Praisin Jesus I have not gained them back. Time to take a look at eating healthier.

I finished going through every room, closet, drawer, cabinet, etc in the house. A friend of mine needs money and is planning a garage sale. What a great motivator for me to get rid of clutter. I got rid of chairs and other pieces of furniture not in use not to mention sewing stuff, picture frames, office supplies, purses, etc. I think the saying is true that our clutter controls us.

Mom even went through and cleaned out some of her stuff. YEAH!!!

Still have way more books than needed but I have now scaled back to buying no more than 5 books a month. The one exception is the books I buy for the mentally challenged couple in the nursing home. I buy the books they like and send them a box every other month.

With cooler temps hopefully coming soon, I want to finish sanding and staining the chairs I got for the dining room. A friend is going to cut the wood seats for me. Covering those will will easy. Once I get those done and out of the storage room, I will have space to work on other projects, like a nightstand.

I want to rearrange the office part of my bedroom so I can enjoy my room more and not feel so closed in when I am at the computer.

I went to church with Rhonda. It was so good to go to church where there was just praisin Jesus and learning more about Him. Our church has been in such turmoil but with me leading Character Makeover, I chose not to leave as so many have. So sad to see power issues tear God's church apart.
I am still praying about whether to stay or go. This is the second departure of indiviuals in less than a year.

Guess I best get back to work. Gene is in all week so will have plenty to do.

I do appreciate all of y'alls prayers.

Calmer now

I do believe I got carried away on that last post. Call it emotional overload. Coming off that trial and then someone is hurting my child. Yes, he is in his 30,s but Waylon is my one and only and someone is messing with him. I greatly dislike the emotional roller coasters fueled by someone's conning manipulations. Too much drama, too many people getting hurt.

I am no longer allowed to be with Roo

A couple of weeks ago, mom and I were going to surprise Waylon by taking him to Austin to buy him some new work shoes. Mom and I talked about it, that she would take him on Wednesday morning, which would allow Kristina to sleep after getting off work.

Because we did not her permission, she said Waylon and Roo could not go. Because we do not respect her, she says I can no longer take care of Roo.

Too much drama. I hope she dies.

Jury Duty is over...

the visions are not. Let me tell you, jury duty is not fun,especially when it involves children. Need some sleep but wake up to visions from the trial running through my head.

Jury Duty

I am on Jury Duty this week. It is so hot in there, you would think I would have sweated off a few pounds. Last night we did not get out of there until after 7PM. I got home about 10PM after going to work, tending to what I could and then doing Davey's payroll.

Something happened at our church that is very hurtful. It reminds me of why I left the last church. I feel I must find another place to worship. I normally would not leave just yet as I have not finished facilitating the Character Makeover study but believe I can no longer go through those church doors.

My friend Rhonda has found a church she loves so think I will give it a try on Sunday. Even mom says she will not be going back.

Why can't we just love Jesus and do what he directs? Why must man muck things up with their rules? JUST GIVE ME JESUS!!!!

Good intentions

I intend to write in my blog or post something on Facebook but weeks go by and my good intentions are just that.

Work has taken me by storm to the point of even bringing it home in the evenings so not only do I have Davey's paperwork at night, I have office work. It is not Gene's fault and he would much prefer I did not bring work home but you can't help when you get the reports you need for his presentations and boy, has he had the presentations to do.

Every other weekend I watch Roo so Kristina and Waylon can work. Time with Roo is an answer to prayer, however, I do not get much done while he is awake, which is all day. Yesterday, he did take three 15 minutes naps and that was in my arms. As soon as I laid him down, he was awake and ready to play. I am only getting to blog now as he did not go to sleep until after midnight so right now, he is slightly stirring, getting ready for a new day.

One weekend a month I work at Davey's. That leaves one weekend to garage sale and accomplish things on my me-do list. My me-do list has not had anything scratched off it in months. My weaving loom is still waiting to be put together after 2 years ( I need help getting it done). Dust is the doilies on everything I own. So unlike me not to dust weekly or at least everyother week but it has been months.

I can check my email and facebook at work so that when I get home, I can do more office work.

I am grateful for my work and I love having Roo, I just miss my me time, some alone time to putter and do. Alone time, is almost gone for good (will get some at Julie's, YEAH) but mom has no plans for anymore trips. My boss gave me off the day after July 4th as long as I checked emails from home. Mom was doing volunteer work for 8 hours. Even that got cut short so I only had a couple of hours for myself. I had just started puttering when here she comes.

Mom tore the ligaments in her foot so I now am having to do more yard work in the evenings until it heals, which it won't because she won't stay off of it. This morning I told her if she doesn't stay off of it, she will have to go someplace until it heals as I can't take care of her, while I work.

Things are better at home with mom but I miss alone time, in my home, doing the things I want to do without interference. She seems to think I want her here all the time when I am home, even though, I have made it plain I need her gone once in awhile. Like me, she is a homebody and let's face it, there is not much to do in Marble Falls that would kill 8 hours of time.

I miss my friends and doing things with them but on my one weekend, I need to tend to things at my house.

I know this may sound like I am complaining but I consider it a time of mourning, a part of my grieving the loss of my life that I enjoyed.

Ouch

OUCH, OUCH, OUCH, OUCH, OUCH. Took the pride test in Character Makeover. Again I say, OUCH, OUCH, OUCH, OUCH, OUCH!

Changes

Last week, I was ministering to a friend at church. One of her children is very hateful to her and uses Facebook as one of her tools to spread lies. Are they lies? Yes. I mean, if you are going to spread the lie that your mother stood you in the front yard and set fire to your legs, at least have the scars to prove it.

Sorry for the slight bunny trail. Anyway, as I was sharing how all I could see when I looked at mom was betrayal and that I wanted her to suffer, she made the comment that maybe that is how her daughter saw her. It was in that moment that God showed me how my anger at the daughter and her treatment of her mother was a mirror of me and how I treated mom.

I can't say everything is super at my house but for the first time since mom moved in, I did not dread going home.

God continues to work.

Good changes

Not sure what is going on with Waylon and Kristina but she did not leave. PRAISE GOD! and thank you for your prayers.

God enabled me to have a really good conversation with my mom. Things are soooo much better. Tension is out of the house. I am praying it stays away.

Had a great time with Julie on Saturday. Got a few treasures in Fredericksburg but next time, we need to take old Blue and make the meat market a planned stop early in our treasure hunt. They make a really good 3 meat, 2 cheese sub sandwich. They were completely out of sandwiches at noon when we got there. We had a hard time finding a place to eat. Even the Sonic was completely full when we drove through.

Tonight we start the Bible study, Character Makeover. I am so looking forward to it. I have a few more small things to do to be ready. I am leading this study and it would not look good if I was not prepared.

We splurged and got Directv. I love the Hallmark Channel. Too bad we do no get the Hallmark movie channel too but I am one content puppy! You are laughing at me saying puppy, aren't you? Alright, I am one content old dog!!

Kristina wants a divorce

Kristina is leaving Sunday for Abilene and taking Roo with her. She says she wants a divorce. Not sure if she will follow through. My heart hurts.

There is so much confusion, not sure who is telling the truth. Waylon says there is no drugs, Kristina says there is.

Kristina says she will bring Devon down every other weekend to spend with Waylon until Waylon gets a car. Waylon works 9AM - 10:30 PM on Saturday and Sunday. When is he supposed to spend time with Roo? Roo will be sleeping.

Lord, HEEEEEEEEEEELP!!! Not sure what to pray anymore just know I can't quit kneeling at the foot of the cross!

Kitchens and chapels

Throughout history, kitchens have been the chapels where women gather to soothe and fortify one another - chapels with colored wallpaper instead of stained-glass windows. The kitchen table, sticky with rings of juice from breakfast, is an altar of prayer. The soulful hum of the refrigerator replaces the choir.

~Patti Hill~ from her book, "Like a Watered Garden"

Betrayal

It is so hard for me with mom. When I see her, I see her betrayal. I just can't seem to find the key that opens the door to forgiveness and then, when I walk through that door, it automatically locks so I can't return to the land of unforgiveness. Meanness is all that seems to come out of me towards her. I am a prisoner of my own making and no matter how much I pray, I find myself still hating her. God forgive me.

This morning, as I was praying for Waylon and his ever worsening situation, I wondered if he feels I betrayed him? In some ways yes, I have. I have asked his forgiveness and although he says he has forgiven me, his actions indicate otherwise. I know mom wants to be released from her past failings with me, just like I do with Waylon.

Mom despised her mom, I hate mom and my son tolerates me. In the name of Jesus and by His blood, I pray this generational curse be broken.

God help me!

Waylon's quilt

Yesterday was an absolutely perfect day. Waylon came over with Roo. Kristina had to work but Waylon took her a plate of food during her lunch break. JT and his son, Justin (Roo's 13th month old cousin) also came for the day. I sat up a small pool in the backyard. The boys were so worn out that they both took naps before lunch. Yeah, it was a shocker but Roo slept about 25 minutes.

We had steak and ribs for lunch then watched The Blind Side and Front of the Class, both great movies.

What really made my day was when Waylon and JT arrived. JT sat down in the chair and noticed a rag quilt on the ottoman. It was my first attempt at a rag quilt. I had made it for Waylon when he lived in Minnesota. This quilt was a lap quilt. Waylon asked for a larger one so he could wrap up like a burrito in it. Waylon gave the first quilt back to me when he got his larger one. JT commented how he loved the rag quilt at Waylon's house (2nd quilt). JT said he felt so peaceful and comforted when he had that quilt on (even in the summer). Waylon then commented how everyone fights for that quilt when they come to the house, that everyone just loves it.

The quilt is made out of old flannel shirts and we all know how comfortable those shirts can be. But what makes this quilt special, is on the batting of every square is a scripture that has been prayed over Waylon. When I told Waylon about the scriptures, his eyes bugged out and said, no wonder everyone loves that quilt.

Waylon says he needs another quilt and this mom is more than happy to oblige.

Waylon also told me he wants to start counseling and spent some time looking for counselors yesterday while at the house.

Pray he follows through.

Losing your ego to find your identity

Losing your ego to find your identity: God isn't asking us to crucify our desire to be somebody. He's asking us to crucify our death grip on the substitutes we use to fill the space He should occupy in our lives. If you've ever tried to let go of something you've used to define your very being, you know why Jesus says it's like going to the cross. It feels like an execution. ~Bill Peel~

Waylon

With a saddened heart I write that from all appearances, Waylon has gone back to drugs. Guess the pull of the drugs is stronger than his love for Roo. A friend sent this to me this morning. I wanted to share it because there are so many Waylon's out there and I felt this could be for them.

Alisa,
I thought of you earlier in the wk when I read in:
Jeremiah 31:17 "There is hope in your future, says the Lord, that your children shall come back to their own border."

The commentary says, "When children stray from the Lord: One of the greatest heartaches of any believing parent occurs when one of their children has rebelled against the ways of the Lord . God's Word offers comfort and hope in this situation. He understands. Much of the OT is the story of God's children straying. He knows our heartaches. And He promises to bring our children back! He promises that ultimately they will come back to the ways they were taught as children (Prov. 22.6), that peace would be their portion as they encounter Him (Is. 54:13), and that He will fight for us to see salvation come to them (49:25)." Hallelujah!!

Your name and another friend's name is written in my bible beside this and I'm confessing and believing this for you and Waylon.

Then a little further down in verse 25, I'm praying this specifically for you.
Lord, thank you that you have satiated the weary soul (of Alisa) and you have replenished her sorrowful soul." In the Name of Jesus...Amen.

I pray peace and comfort for you today and that the Holy Spirit will bring conviction in Waylon and he will "give up and turn wholeheartedly to the Lord, accepting Him w/o any reservation and serve Him w/great joy" ~ 180 degree turn around!!
♥Love and Blessings♥,


Thank you Janie!

Lesson from the doves

Early Sunday morning, I took Dottie out for her morning run. While she tromped through the grass, I sat in my rocking chair, listening to the sounds of morning. Not something I seem to get to do much anymore so I closed my eyes and just soaked it all in.

My peaceful moment was interrupted by the LOUD cooing of one lone dove, who I will call JC. JC sat on the electric lines and cooed and cooed and cooed some more. As JC cooed, I could hear the soft cooing of other doves returning the call from some distance away. I noted their coos grew louder and then stopped as they flew to the trees close by where JC sat.

Where there had only been JC, now the barren trees were filled with doves. Although JC continued to coo, the other doves remained silent. All of a sudden, JC quit cooing and they next thing I knew, all the doves were swooping down to feast at the bird feeders in the backyard. Some swooped to the feeders, feasting on the sunflowers seeds, others stayed on the ground and ate leftovers.

As I watched this scenario play out, I thought about Jesus, how he calls and calls and calls and many come, desiring to be fed and filled. However, many are empty because they did not heed the call.

Then God spoke to me.

God reminded me of the many times Jesus has called me to spend time with Him, yet I do not come as I let the busyness of my day take priority. Or the times, I grab a morsel from my devotional or from a blip on the radio. Instead of being fed by Jesus, I chose to feast on regurgitated christianity.

Obviously, I need to learn a lesson from the doves.

Change of plans

Not helping a friend on Saturday. Waylon and Kristina are coming for supper and leaving Roo with me. Time with Roo,Wahooooooooo!

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait til tomorrow,
for babies grow up we learn to our sorrow.
So settle down cobwebs and dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby cuz babies don't keep.

My housecleaning plans are postponed (yeah like that was a difficult decision) until Roo leaves.

Happy Mother's Day!

What to say?

Yeppers, it has been awhile since I have written. I will use the old excuse, I have been busy, busy, busy! I have helped make costumes for VBS and worked with a friend on the Mother Day givaways at church. Personally, I think we did an awesome job. Debbie and I painted a flower on cardstock. For the center of the flower, we glued a mirror. Underneath, eash flower, Debbie wrote, beautifully I must add, "You are a reflection of God's love!" The card was cut in a diamond shape. A pretty ribbon was put on one of the diamond tips so they could hang it.We used a variety of colors of cardstock so each one is unique.

To top all of this off, I went fishing. The fishing was a bust but mentally, it was just what I needed. We weathered (pun intended), high winds, rain and one severe storm that almost sank Davey's boat.

Mom got back in town Monday night so now that I have gotten somewhat caught up at the office, things are back to somewhat normal. My weekend plans are to help a friend at her house and then CLEAN my own. The dust bunnies are taking over.

Change

After reading Tania's blog, I am amazed at how much our lives parallel each other at this given time. I am talking about the losses and changes.

At the time my mom came to live with me, it seemed like everything else changed also. All my friends lives took on new directions also. We no longer had our Saturday garage saling times, our periodic lunches or potlucks etc etc etc. It was like I had no life other than to be stuck in the house with my mother and personally, I did not want her here. God also moved me to a church, a Baptist church at that and I was miserable. It was one of those old, dead in water, legalistic churches I vowed never to be a part of again, yet God called me to it.

I have grieved the losses BUT I am also seeing the good in the changes. God has opened the door for me to minister to two women who are both fairly new at being single, one through death, one through divorce. Both are in worse financial shape than me, one finally has a car, the other is praying for one. Laura, the widow, got a car at the end of last year and is now working part time and helping take of her very sick grandson (8 years old, had cancer, has to have kidney dialysis 3 times a week, etc ) so she has no social life. Debbie has been single for 3 years, only gets child support and would love a job but has no car or money to get one. Her house needs a lot of repair. She also has had 35 facial surgeries which has left her with severe migraines and as she will tell you, she knows she is not the prettiest woman on the block. No one wants her in a position to greet people.

Both women need to be shown love and acceptance and I am grateful God is using me. Had I still had my old life,I would not have made the time for these 2 ladies and both of them are treasures.

As a Christian, I realize that changes are inevitable as God has places He wants to use me. I miss getting to spend as much time with my friends and I REALLY MISS my freedom but my life belongs to God and He has places for me to go and people for me to see.

I firmly believe the saying, people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. If my hand is hanging on so tightly to the someone that God brought into my life for a season, then my hand is not open to receive the new people HE has for me.

I am not crazy about change. I want to be joyous about the journey God has me on at this time but honestly, I am just not there yet. The changes of the last 2 years have been painful. I have felt more isolated and alone than I have in quite some time. I pushed God away because truthfully, I feel like HE hates me or is punishing me.

GOD is in control or least He wants to be.

Stuff

Mom is gone and I have inundated myself with the teachings of Joyce Meyer on the Fruit of the Spirit. It has really helped lift my spirits. With the lift in my spirits, I have energy! I accomplished a few things yesterday that should have been done weeks ago. My me-do list has some scratch marks on it.

Waylon and Kristina were going to come over last night. No show, no phone call. How hard is it to pick up the phone and say, not coming?

I am going to pick up Devon when I get off work on Thursday. It will be great to spend time with him. A month in between hugs is tooooooo long.

A good way to start the day

This morning I purchased to large items at Walmart. There was a nice gentleman who loaded them in my basket. I asked the checkout lady if I could get someone to help me unload them. When he finished, he said "God bless you". WOW! Why is it I usually tell people "Have a great day" instead of God bless you? Think I need to change something.

Movin' on

I have inundated myself with Joyce Meyer's teachings. I need to focus on God, not mom. I need to give the devil the heave oh once and for all regarding my past. It is hard when your past is in your face everyday but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Pray for me!

God, pt 5

I listened to Joyce Meyer some more. If you see me with casts on my feet it is because she stepped all over them, big time.

God showed me something, again, that is the root of all my bitterness. I HAVE NOT SURRENDERED MY ALL TO HIM. I am still wanting God to run my life, my way. It is not my life. It is His to do with as He pleases. Being obedient sucks.

God, pt 4

I have been listening to Joyce Meyer's teachings on the Fruit of the Spirit. I have now listened about 4 times to her teachings on "kindness". In it, she talks about how, when someone hurts us, we want them to pay and pay and pay. She says that mindset is straight from the devil, that he loves it when we want revenge.

Last night, I decided to listen to Joyce Meyer, The Power of our Words. In it, she was talking about how our words, outside of prayer, can make a difference in our prayers being answered. HMMM, something else to chew on.

Anyway, I must admit, I was only about half listening when God pricked my ears to what Joyce was saying. When she asked God why about something, He told her it was because she was being self-centered.

I'll be honest, I did not want to hear it so I decided not to rewind and listen. I was doing Davey's bookwork so my mind would not have really been listening anyway.

Tonight, I will "listen" intently so I can fully understand what God is trying to show me.

God, pt 3

I am not sure where all these posts are leading. I guess blogging is an emotional dumping ground until I can truly get rid of the garbage inside once and for all.

Things are better between mom and I. She has graciously given me more space and imprisoned herself in her room at times, like in the morning. I was so tired of hearing her say, "are you gone yet". After a year, I finally told her to not talk to me in the mornings. When I come home, she no longer says, "there's my girl", like I am some dog. When I made a comment, she changed it to, "there's my working girl." Personally, I wanted the bitch to just shut up and leave me alone. Go away and let me get back to my life of only seeing her sporadically.

At times I feel God is cruel. I want to be obedient. I am doing what He asks but my heart is just not in it. All I can see is that for possibly the next 20 years, I am stuck with my mother. I HATE IT, HATE IT, HATE IT. Mom can no longer afford to live on her own, which is why she is with me. I just did not think it would be this hard. Everyone says she should get her own place. All she can afford is those places based on income and I know what those are like.

I feel like God will never bring me a godly husband until I can accept and truly love the bitch for the rest of her life. I am not there.

I am so tired of the facade that is my life.

Boundaries

Over the years, as God has given me a confidence and a boldness, I have learned to draw boundaries with my family of what is acceptable treatment. Maybe, I need to draw those same boundaries with myself on acceptable treatment of them.

There is a viciousness in me, most times right at the surface. Thank you Lord, that most times I heed your warning and shut my mouth. Can we work on the rest of the time?

God, pt 2

Mom is a product of her past. She was the 3rd child born. Her brother was 3 when she was born, her sister Pasty had died before mom's birth. I believe the death of Patsy shut off my grandmother's emotions and her ability to show love to her other children, at least until Mom's younger sister came along.

Mom was 4 when Aunt Wanda was born. Aunt Wanda was an epileptic, having both gran mal and pall mal seizures from infancy until at the age of 50, they were able to locate the damaged nerve and repair it. Meanwhile, at the age of 4, mom became the cook, housekeeper, etc until she married my dad. Not saying that my grandparents demanded of her without helping, but my aunt required lots of attention and care and my grandfather worked several jobs. It was wartime and at one point, they lived in a tent while trying to eek out a living.

Mom was always the dutiful daughter, never saying no to her parents as then she would not be honoring them. Same reason she did not divorce. It was against God and it would have brought shame to the family. Personally, I think some churches wrongly teach what it is to honor your parents or force spouses to stay in abusive situations equating God hates divorce with God hates you.

I did not know my dad. He died a few days after I turned 4. From all accounts, my father was a beloved son, husband, son-in-law, friend, etc.. Mom never grieved his loss, having been thrown into custody battles (my dad had no will) and trying to provide for 2 young girls. Until about 2 years ago, mom carried a lot of anger at God for taking my dad, saying she must have been bad for God to take him.... you know all the things satan whispers in our ears, all the lies, the deceit.

Mom remarried 4 years after my dad died. She married a horrible man with a lust for gambling, drinking, barmaids and very young girls. I was 8 when I became one of his victims. Mom knew it was happening, but through the years, lived in denial. Mom stayed married to him until he died a few years ago. Thinking about him still makes me want to puke. He tried to kill himself so many times. Why wouldn't God let him die? Why did mom always have to rescue him? The b.....needed to die!

I cannot understand why God has me with her in my home, knowing that in due time, I will become her caregiver,that I will have take care of the one who betrayed me oh so many times. Forgiveness. I forgive and forgive and forgive and then , wham, the past whispers in my ears one more time.

Mom is not a bad woman. She is a hard worker, she cares about people. Mom has finally started to bloom as a person. I do not always treat her with honor. I want her to suffer, to pay for her wrongs to me, so I treat her mean, reminding her how she was a bad mother. And what has all this gotten me. A miserable life. A life of bitterness, just like the one she has spent her life living. I can hate with a vengeneance. Hate comes way to easy to me.

Listening to Joyce Meyer this morning, God caught my attention. Joyce is speaking on the Fruits of the Spirit. Today's lesson, kindness. Kindness is heaping undue favor on someone, blessing your enemies...you get the picture. She talks about how the servant, who owed money, went to the master and told the master, "I have no means to pay" and the master forgave the debt (Matthew 18:25-27).

People who still your self-respect, your virginity or whatever, HAVE NO WAY TO PAY IT BACK. They cannot pay back what they took.

I need to chew on this awhile.

God, what are you doing?

Earlier this year, I actually listened to the teaching on the Bait of Satan. I had read the book but was not ready to receive what God was trying to show me. "Offense" is satan's bait and I had taken it hook, line, sinker and pole. I had bitterness oozing out every pore of my body.

I knew eventually Mom would come live with me, I just had not anticipated it being so soon. It has been very rough. Of course, in the beginning, it was just supposed to be for 6 months of the year and the other 6 months she would live with my sister. That did not happen but she did go spend 4 months with Kyra and her daughter last year. I thought, this is great. At least a few months of the year I would have a reprieve.

Now Kyra has moved back to Texas but in a situation where mom cannot go stay with her, sooooooo, after mom's return from Colorado, I no longer have any long breaks from mom being in the house. She has said this trip will be her last.

Mom is there when I leave for work and when I come home. She used to go to church on Tuesdays, giving me an hour, in my home, without her. She stopped doing that. I miss puttering around the house, just me and no one else. I miss my alone time. Yes, I can go someplace else and have alone time but I want it in my home, my haven. What used to be my sanctuary is no more. I asked God for someone to grow old with and He sends me mom. I guess I should have given Him a more specific description of what I was wanting.

I do not know what God is doing but for quite sometime I have not liked it. I have friends who say that once my mother is gone, I will miss her and be grateful for the time we got to spend together. My question to them is, did your mother live with you? If so, for how long? Not one of their mother's lived with them. They can't know. All of them had a good relationship with their mom. I do not know the future but I do know this. God can change my heart and He has. I no longer hate my mother but I do find it difficult to tell her I love her and I still do not want her to touch me. Although longevity runs in the family, perhaps she won't live another 20 years, I can't know.

This morning, I was listening to Joyce Meyer (old teaching tapes). One of the things she talked about was those people God brings into your life to crucify your flesh. Mom is that person in mine.

So God, what are you doing? You have mom living with me. You have me attending a dead church, although I see changes. I ask for help losing weight and I continue to gain. I ask to at least be able to go fishing without her and I can't even have that! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???????????

Cracked Pots

If God uses cracked pots, am I all I am cracked up to be?

Where is my head?

Just want to know, "Where is my head? After church on Sunday, I went to the HEB in Kingsland, got a few groceries, stopped and grabbed a burger and then came home. I was excited to have some time to start working on a project before Bible study. About an hour into my project, I realized that the groceries I bought were still sitting in the car. Thankfully, the chicken was still cold.

For over a week, I have dealt with a very congested head, earaches, coughing, etc. Can't seem to shake off whatever attached itself to me. I would like to use this as my excuse for losing my head!

God is doing something awesome!

Our youth leader took 11 youth to see Heaven's Gate, Hell's Flames, 10 of the youth either re-dedicated their life and accepted Christ for the first time.. The 11th youth is already a strong Christian.

Last night, our youth attended Hot Hearts Youth Conference. 2 more of our youth accepted Christ.

God is doing something awesome in our youth group!

Facebook vs Blogging

I am on Facebook. I joined it to follow a friends son's journey with cancer. I maintained that account even after he passed. It has been great to connect with old acquaintances. Notice, I said acquaintances, not friends. I think for some, it is like they are trying to see who has the most friends. Let's be truthful here. I have some "friends" on Facebook who are only there so we could catch up with each other. Once that was over, the communication ceased. And what is with all these farm and hearts etc. Who has time for all that?

With blogging, I can get more intimate, more personal in my writing and know, only my fellow sisterchicks will read it. I know you can limit who sees your stuff on Facebook, but truthfully, I just don't feel like opening up my heart there, so I am going back to blogging while also maintaining my Facebook account.