It is so hard for me with mom. When I see her, I see her betrayal. I just can't seem to find the key that opens the door to forgiveness and then, when I walk through that door, it automatically locks so I can't return to the land of unforgiveness. Meanness is all that seems to come out of me towards her. I am a prisoner of my own making and no matter how much I pray, I find myself still hating her. God forgive me.
This morning, as I was praying for Waylon and his ever worsening situation, I wondered if he feels I betrayed him? In some ways yes, I have. I have asked his forgiveness and although he says he has forgiven me, his actions indicate otherwise. I know mom wants to be released from her past failings with me, just like I do with Waylon.
Mom despised her mom, I hate mom and my son tolerates me. In the name of Jesus and by His blood, I pray this generational curse be broken.
God help me!
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